Arsenal v Barcelona: This is exactly what will happen tonight at the Emirates

first_img4 Arsenal face the unenviable task of stopping Lionel Messi and co. in the Champions League on Tuesday as Barcelona travel to north London.While there are many pundits predicting a goal-fest for the Catalan giants, here is a more light-hearted prediction of what could unfold at the Emirates…Francis Coquelin begins the night by scything down Messi in the opening minutes and somehow escapes a red card. However, Arsene Wenger claims he “did not see it” as he was too busy trying to zip up his coat.via GIPHYArsenal start well, as Theo Walcott and Alexis Sanchez go close and belief engulfs the home fans.The Gunners duly take the lead, as Olivier Giroud’s freshly-styled quiff gets enough on the ball to guide Sanchez’s cross into the bottom corner.  via GIPHYSatisfied with their opening few minutes work, Arsenal sit back and find themselves 3-1 down 15 minutes later, with Neymar bagging a brace and Luis Suarez getting the third.The camera cuts to Thierry Henry celebrating in the stands with an Arsenal-Barcelona ‘half and half’ scarf. Jack Wilshere challenges Lionel Messi in 2011 Per Mertesacker – left in a daze after fast moving objects by the names of Neymar and Suarez flash past him – is withdrawn at half time at the request of Hollywood director Peter Jackson, who wants the German to star as an Ent tree-like being in his next adaptation of a J.R.R Tolkien book.via GIPHYAn interactive poll for who should replace Mertesacker takes place during the break and is won by Gunnersaurus, who immediately lines up next to Laurent Koscielny at the back.Twitter then erupts and celebrity fan Piers Morgan makes a witty comment about Gunnersaurus being only the second footballing dinosaur on display, after Wenger. Barcelona dominate possession in the second half, which begins to frustrate Mesut Ozil, who is so concerned about his assist-to-game ratio he begins to play killer balls through to ‘MSN’, and is applauded by Gunners for his imagination and ‘out-of-the-box thinking’.via GIPHYOne of Ozil’s passes finds Lionel Messi, who has had a stinker of a game due to his complete inability to score against Petr Cech (a run which now stretches to eight games), but the Argentine is brought down in the area after a clumsy foul from Gunnersaurus.Messi, totally psyched out by Cech, slips as he steps up to strike the ball, but the ball rolls two yards into the path of Suarez, who taps in. The commentators hail Messi’s genius, while the watching Thierry Henry and Robert Pires get their coats.Meanwhile, Wenger throws a pound coin in the direction of Suarez and whispers “there’s 40 million more where that came from”.Despite losing 4-1, Arsenal win a Twitter poll to decide the most likely Champions League winners and the home side take a celebratory selfie…center_img 4 4 4last_img

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *